Bad day,

I've been running on about 3 hours of sleep, and I was running a bit late. I asked my dad to make me a bowl of cereal and he grabs the chocolatey special K. The one that's like fifty calories more than the one I eat. :| Then I get to school, and I have to run a mile. I was wearing jeans under sweat pants. Bro seriously. Then I come home and my dad fights with me, and I cry. And I eat 230 calories worth of mashed patatoes and now I'm eating 100 calories of Jello.
So,
190
-100
90.
+230
320.
+100
420.
Not too shabby, I s'pose...
I hope whoever's reading this is doing better than I.

So today was an epic failure...

I started off great. But then I had 1 1/2 Pepsi's, salad, one slice of pizza, sweettarts, mashed patatoes, and a fucking bagel with cream cheese. Well fuck me. Ugh. :\

I haven't eaten anything yet today.(: Although I think I might go and get myself some Special K, or maybe something under 200 calories... Hm. Also, I'm planning on going on another one of my photography expeditions which consist of walking around Milwaukee and taking pictures of things I think are marvolous, but in reality no one actually cares about those or the pictures. It's just something fun for me.(: Fruit&&Yogurt Special K is amazing. You should seriously try it, you'll be fucking addicted. <3

I wanted to post this here as well as Tumblr, idk why.

Good things come to those who wait; but so does misfortune. As far as I’m concered, life is about luck. I don’t think there’s a “plan” from God, or a rebirth, or anything like that. I think that you just do the best you can do with the circumstances and when the time comes, the time comes. Your in a jar, or in a casket six feet under, or scattered about the coast lines. But if you’re just Dead, no other life, why not enjoy this one? Maybe there is an afterlife, and maybe there is a plan from God. Maybe, there is a God. Maybe we all have a purpose. Shit, we could even end up in a bad sitcom, no one knows yet. To me, religion is a comfort and something to keep you going through the rough patches. Me? I don’t believe in anything, anything except for this; Today might be bad, yesterday may have been bad too, tomarrow might even be worse than today… but with Time and patience, the days get better. That’s what I believe in. I believe in Time, science, and truth. Good for you, if your religious, I respect that. But no one knows until they’re dead, and we can’t speak with our dead. So we might as well fight and bitch about which religion is right or wrong, but for now, I think I’ll enjoy my time here, I think I’ll just wait out the bad and savour the good. Because that’s really all that makes much sense to me at this point

Another of my many daily posts..

So I've been posting alot because I missed 2 days of school due to being sick, and I can't go anywhere today because of that. I might go take pictures tomarrow, if my camara decides to work. -.- ANYWAYS; I just ate my body weight, in potato chips. Well, not really, but about 300 calories worth of chips. Kill Me. And? To make things worse, I HAVE TO EAT SPAGHETTI TONIGHT. Fuckshitdamn. |: How many calories is spaghetti? I'm going to guess around 450. AND OH DEAR GOD. IT'S SEVEN HUNDERED AND FIFTY CALORIES.
180+300+750=Fat Ass.
...or, 1230 calories.
SHOOT ME.

My name is Erika,

...and I am going to be thinner and prettier and everything better, so that next school year comes, my ex boyfriend will see just how hot I am -- while he can't have me. I don't hate him, even though I have all rights and such, but I fell in love (or what felt like love) with him. But either way, I think I'd get a little satisfaction out of seeing his jaw hit the damn floor when I walk by with skinny everything and a nice set of boobs.(: At least; nice for my 5'2 already apparently "petite" frame. *cough*orjustginormousframe*cough*

That's partially what's motivating me today.
The less I eat now, the less I weigh then, the better I feel these next days when the photo's are taken, and the better I look when He see's me...
Life is grand in the strangest of ways...(:

Hello.(:
So, today so far I've eaten 160 calories worth of Special K. Or maybe it's more like... 180, I don't have skim milk. ): Anyways, I was still hungry after words, and I ALMOST grabbed a cookie. BUT I DIDN'T! I grabbed a Diet Coke, and said Diet Coke is now chillin' on my tv stand thing, waiting for me to have a hunger craving. ((: Later I have to do like... I'd guess it would be five loads. >.< But, that's a mini work out for me, up and down stairs for a few hours.(: I can't actually, "work out" because my parents will get suspicious, and I'm lazy as fuck. But I do go on SUPER long walks so I can get some good photography done, and to clear my head. So hopefully it helps clear my body of a few calories. I found this calorie site, btw... and I have a severe addiction to Speedway Caramel Lattes, so any time I've got a dollar on hand, THAT, is where it's spent, anyways, back to this calorie web site. {[http://caloriecount.about.com]} It's wonderful. I never knew how many calories were actually in some of the food I ate. Shocking. Now, I can plan ahead if I want coffee.(; Sneaky. Lol. I think tomarrow I'll just have coffee. Home coffee, I don't have $3. ): Sad. Well I might have change. I'll let ya'll know. Anywho, I'll be posting later or momentarily with thinspo and tonight with all my calorie intake.
Another point; I see I have a follower. :D Yay! :D
...Well, later, I s'pose.<3

I post too much, don't I? Hm. That 70's Show isn't all that uplifting, having to see skinny, gorgeous, Jackie Burkhart being SKINNY AND GORGEOUS... And with Easter coming up, I'm going to inflate more than a hot air balloon. You might as well kill me now. Damn. I need some thinspo, in the form of BOOKS! :D I might just stop at the library tomarrow.(:

I want to be a model. I'm 13. This has been apart of me since I was 11. It is my control issue. Not a choice. Overwhelming thought processes that I can't shut up. So here I am, blogging about this... my "accomplishments" and my "failures." Enjoy, loves.

She kissed me on Wednesday.(: This girl, who I've had my eye on since the breakup with Mike, KISSED ME. I was laying across her and we were just talking, and out of nowhere, she grabs me and just starts kissing me. But... sadly, the words she said after weren't quite as satisfactory as that kiss. "I'm sorry, I've been wanting to do that for a long time. Um, just forget that ever happened." What I really wanted to happen, was more kissing, I wanted her to break up with the 19 year old "boyfriend" who's basically an open relationship, and be my girlfriend. But we can't always get what we want, now can we? Oh well... that kiss tied me over for a while.(: Wonderful.

Me. Picture One. Disgusting.

I've been binging. Like mega bad... I feel like a fucking W-H-A-L-E, you know, the 500 thousand pound ones? Yeah, that's me. From now on, I'm "buckling down" on my calories, hugely. As if my life depended on it. I've let myself go this week... I'll keep y'all updated, thinspo, and the gross pictures of myself, which will soon be gorgeous enough to be in a bikini.<3 2 more months left... and I need to get myself at least presentable in a bikini. So you know what that means? Thinspo around my room, recording EVERYTHING I eat, and daily crunches with walking home every day. I think I can do this. I just wish I could actually get a number, but the last time I got weighed at the doctor's like last year, I was 111 lbs, but like a week later I got on my scale, and it read 120 lbs... So I think I'll go by eye and photo.
So tomarrow, I have to do laundry, && that requires up and down, up and down stair work. Breakfast, I'm going to have Special K (120 calories) and then for lunch, Diet Coke, and dinner... I think I'll try and skip that, or at least get by with a Jello cup that's about 100 calories... so 220 calories, minus however many calories burned by walking around and going up and down stairs.
(: